PLEASE! Don't accuse me 'doing nothing' !

Assalam~
Doumo~

Today...erm,
well right now I feel really upset when I thought back about what people said to me.
Yeah...everytime we met, I always wonder, 'why do you have to say that matter, again and again?'

Can guess what 'matter'?

....
No need to guess actually..,
Only I can create the answer myself. Haha!

I DON'T sleep back in the morning after I wake up! (Only on weekend XD)
I DON'T wonder around, leaving home 'alone'!
I DON'T abandon the 'mission' my mum told me to do!(cooking, cooking~)
I DON'T leave my house-job! (eventhough sometimes it piled up for tomorrow)

What else?

Whatever it is,
STOP saying I'm just 'making fats'; rolling lolling in my house!

Yes, I'm jobless right now.
But, I'm alive + doing my works thoroughly!

I am what I am...
You have no idea what I've done, what I'm doing, and what will I do!

p/s ; is this what we call 'complaint'?

*Anime! Thanks for spending time with me! Hehe... XD*
*After all, I was banned from it last year..~ lalala~*

when something is blocked.... [困る]

Assalam~
Good morning !

I have nothing much, just want to release all my anger, okay maybe my stress?

I REALLY WANT TO DO SOME PART-TIME JOB !
Honestly....*sigh*

I thought that after I have done all the big exams (for 5 years), my wish to work by myself would come true.
But, yeah, future is not everything that we can control.

My dream; what I really wanted to do after I've finished my exam :
- get a part-time job (I don't really mind anywhere)
- as a 'arranging' staff (not the one who talk to/service the customer, but the one who do all the arranging/decorating and etc)
- InsyaAllah, when I get my first salary, I WILL give them to my parents (this is really my dream!)
- this might be the bonus, I can cut down my weight...? (because I'll walk to the work place)


But, there is some objections from my parents; my mum especially.
She's the one who told me, "Don't just stay in the room, facing the laptop. Do some work. Go and walk" and whatsoever...

So, what is exactly she wanted me to do?

I thought that if I get/find a job, I could be outside of the house, doing something I've never done before.
Even my English teacher once told, "It is good to have many working experiences, no matter what kind of job (which is 'halal' for me),"...

Why cannot I grab that 'experience'?
Why I am not allowed to do things I've always wanted to do? (which I believe is a good thing)
Why cannot I try to reduce the 'problem' in my house? (I know that sometimes, I create problem in my house)

It is not a complain to anyone, just a reminder for myself.
I'm not mad or angry with anyone, just a voice from my little heart.

I'll try and do my best to settle this dilemma.
Until then, just pray the best for me here, and the after world.

Ijyou, Dani deshita !

*This got nothing to do with this post, but I just LOVE all the songs in Arashi's [Popcorn] album*
*Just can't wait for the [AraFes] to get out of the Johnny's Entertainment.*

dilemma...

I just don't know...

It is sure hard to keep both side in the 'winning state'.

Can somebody help me...